Green is the Loneliest Colour
by DKLC
Summary: Shepard and Shiala's paths cross for a second time when they both find themselves on Ilium. Both battling their own bitter loneliness, both feeling lost in a galaxy that they don't quite fit into, they find comfort in each other's "arms". Chapter 2 up: Reunion on Feros. Chapter 3 up: Special tour of the Normandy. Rated M for sexual content. FemShep/Shiala
1. Reintroduction - Nos Astras

**GREEN IS THE LONELIEST COLOUR**

_**A/N: This is a stand-alone one-shot, completely unrelated to my other Mass Effect story.**_

_**Trying to prepare the mind to start a semester of academia. Ridding myself of all impure asari thoughts. Enjoy.**_

_**Adult Content Warning - I'll be blunt. There's smut coming up. You've been warned...**_

* * *

"Maybe sometime, when I'm not organising the colony, and you're not doing whatever it is you do…"

The words were out of Shiala's mouth before she could control them. The gentle caress of the commander's shoulder plate had been fleeting, an impulsive movement. If she was honest with herself, she had run her fingertips over Shepard's shiny black armour only as a way to stop herself from reaching out for the exposed flesh. To touch the nape of the long, elegant neck, the blush of the pink lips, the softness of the strands of loose red hair.

To her surprise, there was a smile in return. The smile curved the mouth slightly, giving the face an entirely new look. But it didn't quite meet the blue eyes, which seemed to be a mirror of her own loneliness.

"How long are you staying on Illium for?" Shepard asked, her curiosity well and truly piqued by the voluptuous, softly spoken asari.

Shepard's reply was so quiet and unexpected, Shiala thought she'd imagined it. But there it was in the eyes; interest, and the expectation of an answer.

"My shuttle leaves in two days." Shiala's numb tongue finally forced the response out.

There was a small nod in return, and for a moment, the smile met the commander's eyes. Shepard felt a slight flutter in her belly. It had been a long, long time since a woman had looked at her the way that Shiala was. Even longer since the last time she'd been touched, or kissed, or stroked…

"We're actually here for a major restock," Shepard responded with a quick glance over her shoulder at her turian and drell escorts. "It'll take at least another eight hours. I could take you out for dinner? If you're interested… that is…"

The commander suddenly dropped her gaze and swiped a thumb self consciously across the deep scars working their way along her jawline. They were fading, slowly but surely, but she was always aware of them.

Shiala felt absurd at the increase in her heart rate. 450 years old, a hardened commando, one of Matriarch Benezia's most esteemed acolytes, and yet there she was, blushing over a human.

"Yes. I am interested," was Shiala's simple reply, which made Shepard's eyes immediately lift to meet her gaze as they lit up with excitement.

"Send me the navpoint for your hotel, and I'll pick you up at eight."

Shepard started mentally going through her wardrobe options in her mind. Nothing but uniforms and exercise gear. Definitely nothing that was even remotely date worthy. Miranda might have something sexy she could borrow, but the Cerberus operative was much more shapely than Shepard; it would end up making the commander look like a teenage boy wearing his mother's dress. Kasumi might have something appropriate, but she was much too short; anything she could lend out wouldn't sit right. Maybe Jack... No, definitely not. Shepard would have to find some way to make it work - she wasn't missing her first date in three years over something as petty as clothing.

Shiala flicked her wrist and lit up her omni-tool, quickly punching in the address and linking it with the commander's, which let off a quiet beep in alert at the new message. The commander used her teeth to capture her own bottom lip, biting back the smile that threatened to take over her face.

"I am looking forward to it, Commander," Shiala said with a small bow of her head.

Shepard reached out a hand awkwardly, not knowing where to put it. The face seemed too intimate, as did the hand, hip, crest, all the other interesting pieces of flesh she was dying to feel in her grasp. She opted for the same spot on Shiala's body that Shiala had gone for, the shoulder.

"Call me Shepard."

* * *

Shiala pulled on her simple black bodysuit. It wasn't nice enough, it didn't show off the curves off her body the way she wanted it to, but it would have to do. She hadn't been expecting to go on a… date… or whatever this was, when she'd packed to leave Feros.

At 7:30pm, she sat down with a glass of wine and waited. She still heard the whispers of the Thorian in the back of her brain, but now, almost two and a half years after its death, they were shadows, mere echoes of what they were when she had been trapped in its mind.

She felt a worm of anxiety wriggle it's way into her belly at the thought of what the evening would hold. Would the commander even turn up? Would she want to have sex after dinner? Would she want to join?

Shiala knew that she herself wanted that very much. The commander's body had been a night-time fantasy of hers since their first meeting all those years ago. Upon hearing of the woman's KIA status, she had allowed herself a small window of grief. Seeing her alive on Ilium, in the flesh, looking only a little bit worse for wear, had been like having the sun move out from behind a cloud. It had been five hours since their surprise reunion. Shepard would need to be back on her ship and flying off into Goddess knows what in three hours. Shiala wanted to make the most of every moment.

She went to refill her glass, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She straightened herself out and took a deep breath, before opening the door.

There stood Commander Shepard. Her ear-length red hair had been styled casually, and her uniform included a pair of black fatigues and a figure hugging grey tee-shirt. She held a bunch of blue Ilium roses in her hand.

Shepard was relieved to see that Shiala wasn't made up for the date either. She still looked stunning though, the pretty features of her face and the smooth line of her curves making for a most welcome sight.

"Hi," Shepard breathed out, looking Shiala up and down with a barely contained spark of desire. She paused, wondering whether to go in for a kiss on the cheek, a handshake, or nothing. She decided to keep it simple; a compliment. "You look beautiful. I booked us a table at the restaurant downstairs."

Shiala stood rooted in place, fighting an inner war between the two versions of herself. The confident, strong, fearless commando that she used to be, valiantly attempted to scratch her way to the surface against the shy, self conscious, matron that she had become under her years of slavery at the hands of Sovereign and the Thorian.

Shepard took a deep swallow. Shiala was staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face. The commander shifted uncomfortably under the gaze. This was why she avoided mirrors. After several seconds of silence, she knew she had to do something.

The commander reached out her hand again, but this time, she ran the backs of her soft knuckles against the asari's cheek. "Are you okay, Shiala? I can leave, if you've changed your mind?" Shepard asked, suddenly becoming self aware and retracting her hand.

Shiala closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself to have the strength to take what she wanted. The commando finally won the mental battle against the matron, and Shiala reached forward with both hands, grabbing the human by the waist. She didn't ask permission, she didn't need to. The way the commander's eyes had drifted over her body upon her opening the door had been all the encouragement she needed.

There was a small cry of surprise emitted from the back of the commander's throat as Shiala brought their lips crashing together. It felt like an eternity since the asari had known intimacy. It _had_ been an eternity. She'd lived out dozens of lifetimes in the endless, eternal consciousness of the Thorian. She was an ancient soul, put back in the body of an asari barely out of her maiden stage.

The commander accepted the kiss with enthusiasm, returning the pressure and wrapping her arms around Shiala's neck. The roses dropped to the ground, temporarily abandoned, as the asari inched backwards, coaxing the commander with her. There was a sudden movement on Shepard's part, and the hissing sound of a door. Shiala opened her eyes, and saw that the commander had used a backwards kick to shut the door behind them, giving them complete privacy.

Breaking apart for a moment to catch their breaths, Shepard took the moment to double check. "Are you sure?"

Shiala moved quickly, pushing the commander backwards and smacking her shoulders against the door, before planting another claiming kiss on her lips. Shepard moaned into the asari's mouth, parting her lips to welcome the embrace of an emerald green tongue. Shiala probed the commander's soft mouth, experiencing the taste and sensation of a human for the first time. Shepard's tongue met Shiala's and massaged it, while the asari's deft hands began gripping the human's hips bony hips, digging her nails into the tender flesh.

Shepard was accustomed to being in charge of her sexual experiences, and had been mentally prepared to be in the driver's seat if the night's date had ended in bed. The asari's sudden confidence and dominance was both unexpected and exciting.

Shiala felt the inside of her skull begin to hum, her arousal pushing forth the almost forgotten urge of her consciousness to join with another. She fought the instinct, wanting to hold out for as long as she could, not sure if she'd be able to sustain a bond after what her mind had been subjected to. Instead, she threaded her fingers through Shepard's hair. She let out a soft gasp at the sensation, the hundreds of fine, silken strands running their way over her finger tips.

Shepard responded by exploring the folds at the back of Shiala's neck, working her way up from the base of the skull to the crests. Shiala moaned in response at Shepard touching the unknown erogenous zone with gentle, curious fingertips. Shiala unconsciously ground her hips, setting off a dull, longing, throb between both women's legs.

Breaking the kiss and stepping away before she lost control and forced a meld, Shiala looked the commander up and down. "Undress yourself, Commander," she ordered, getting a gleam of desire in the redhead's eyes.

Shepard gathered the fabric of her tee-shirt in her hands and paused before pulling it over her head. The asari wanted her, and, judging by her response to Shepard's hair, she hadn't been with a human before. Still, the niggling self-doubt made her release the fabric.

"Shiala…" she said uncomfortably, "There's something you should probably know."

With a frustrated groan, the asari started undoing her own suit, pulling the fabric away quickly, exposing large expanses of semi-textured, green flesh.

Shepard felt a fresh wave of arousal as the asari stripped herself bare. Their bodies were as similar as she had suspected. Ridded of her self-doubt, Shepard pulled her tee-shirt off and threw it across the room, before hastily unbuttoning her pants and stepping out of them. She moved across the room to help the asari out of her suit, her breath hitching in her throat as a pair of large, beautiful, breasts were exposed.

"So alike…" Shepard murmured, admiring the womanly body as Shiala pulled off the rest of her suit and stood in a pair of black panties.

Shiala moved forward, extending her hands and letting them rest on Shepard's waist. The commander was in white underwear and a matching bra, something which the asari planned on relieving the human of very quickly. The feel of the skin beneath her hands was incredible, so soft and warm, with a tiny hint of fuzz.

She looked into Shepard's eyes, and felt the prickling again, being peaked by her own overwhelming desire. She wouldn't be able to hold off much longer.

"I've never been with an asari before," Shepard blurted out, before her cheeks coloured and she dropped her gaze.

"And I have never bonded with a human," Shiala admitted reluctantly. "Your species had not yet joined the galactic community the last time I…"

Shepard's eyes widened with the revelation, and Shiala nearly ducked her head with the flush of embarrassment.

"It's okay, Shiala," Shepard said, cupping the asari's cheek. "It's been a long time for me too. I… had a bit of an accident after I met you on Feros. I'm not even sure if my body still works the way I want it to. I... haven't even tested it out for myself yet..."

Shiala smiled and moved in closer for another kiss, this one being more tender, and lacking the intensity of earlier. "Will you join with me, Shepard? We can show each other what pleases us, rather than talking."

Shepard swallowed loudly and nodded. "Yes."

Shiala let passion overwhelm her at the whispered assent, bringing the commander in for another long kiss. Her mind lunged forward, its relentless fights against indoctrination from Sovereign and the Thorian making it too powerful. The meld was too fast, too strong, too deep, and as Shepard stepped back and hissed through her teeth, Shiala felt the echo of the splitting pain in her own head through the mental link. She severed the connection quickly, and the commander sank to her knees, holding her forehead in her hands.

"Commander?" Shiala asked, squatting in front of the human and resting her hands on her shoulders.

"I'm alright, I'm alright," Shepard said, getting unsteadily to her feet, "Just took me by surprise. Is that what it's supposed to feel like?"

Shiala bit her lip and felt the unconfident matron assume control. She turned her back and crossed the floor, resting her hands on the windowsill and looking out across the Ilium skyline. "I am afraid I am no longer fully in control of my mind, Shepard. I cannot meld as a normal asari can."

She blinked back tears at her failure, wondering if she would ever know the intimate caress of another soul again.

Shepard crossed the floor and came up behind the asari. Wrapping her arms around the slender green waist and bringing her hands to rest on the flat plain of the commando's stomach, she pulled the asari in close, pressing her small breasts against the green, softly muscled back.

Not really sure what she was doing, she brought her mouth to the folds and crevices of Shiala's neck, brushing her lips up and down the soft skin gently. Shiala arched into the contact, letting out a quiet moan. Shepard worked her way to the side of her neck, identifying the small fold that seemed to work as an ear.

"Let's try again?" Shepard whispered.

Shiala's breathing started getting heavier as Shepard's fingernails dragged light trails up and down her abdomen, coming tauntingly close to the waist band of her already wet underwear.

"I could not guarantee that it would not happen again," Shiala answered regretfully.

Shepard planted her hands on the asari's hips and used them to slowly spin her around.

"That meld hurt," Shepard admitted, "But it also sent a particularly strong image of something you wanted me to do to you. I'd like to try that, if you'd let me. While I'm doing that, I want you to try and join with me again. A bit slower, this time."

Shiala wasn't sure what image she had accidentally sent. There were at least a dozen different things she wanted the commander to do to her body, but she nodded, and stood still while the commander took charge.

Shepard smiled and guided Shiala against the pane of glass of the large window, bringing her hands up and cupping both breasts. She brought her mouth to the asari's neck and planted a trail of open mouthed kisses along it, before sliding out a warm, pink tongue and running it along Shiala's collarbone.

Shiala stayed still, locked in place with nervousness, managing to run her hands through Shepard's hair and not much else.

"You are so gorgeous," Shepard murmured as she massaged the breasts with her hands and used the pads of her thumbs to tease the nipples.

Shiala opened her mouth to respond, but a strangled moan came out instead. Shepard laughed softly and looked into Shiala's eyes for a moment. "I want you to start trying to meld with me now."

Shiala swallowed and took a deep breath, relaxing enough to let her mind expand as Shepard took a nipple into her mouth and tickled it with her tongue.

Shiala brushed against the first layer of Shepard's consciousness, slowly immersing herself. She could hear shallow thoughts, and smiled at some of the new and unusual human slang that Shepard was using in her stream of consciousness. She went the next layer down, where she got to find the memories and meanings associated with the thoughts she was hearing.

Shepard dropped to her knees, eyeing off the panty-clad package with mixed parts curiosity and excitement. She could hear whispers in the back of her mind, thoughts that she knew weren't hers, but were too quick and too quiet for her to latch onto and understand.

Shiala let out a small giggle, and Shepard looked up to see that her entire eyes had become shining, onyx orbs.

"Yes, Commander," Shiala said with a smile as she heard the unspoken question, "I do want you to 'fuck me with your mouth'."

A small groan of desire escaped Shepard, as she experienced the passion both in Shiala's spoken words, and in her thoughts. Using her teeth to grab hold of the waist band, Shepard dragged the underwear down Shiala's hairless thighs, stopping at the knees as the asari stepped out of them.

Shepard could smell the scent of Shiala's arousal, an intoxicating sweetness that reminded her of the bouquet of fruit. Physically, it looked very similar to what human women had hidden below their belt-lines.

Shiala deepened the meld another layer, getting to experience the commander's emotions. She got hit by a wave of arousal that nearly bowled her over. Beneath that, there was a strong feeling of respect, and a warm, fuzzy sense of affection. And mercy. The memory of the mercy that Shepard had showed her over two years earlier. Below those feelings, she could sense a deep, abating confusion, and a palpable loneliness. They seemed so similar to her own hidden feelings, she wasn't sure if she was reading Shepard's emotions, or simply projecting her own. On Shepard's end, she felt an inexplicable rise in her own lust as she felt Shiala's wanton need combine with her own. Behind it, she felt a roil physical attraction, a wave of admiration, and a crushing sense of gratitude at the life she had spared.

Almost overcome by it all, she grabbed Shiala's hips with both hands, and brought her mouth into contact with the asari's sex, pressing a kiss onto the soft folds.

Shiala's knees dipped ever so slightly at the small amount of contact, urging Shepard forward. Using the tip of her tongue, the commander started low, dipping shallowly into the asari's wet entrance, before slowly tracing her way up the crevice. She could taste a hint of Shiala's flavour, which was just as sweet as it smelled. Getting a gasp of pleasure from the asari and a fresh swell of desire, she pushed forward, parting the folds with her eager tongue and getting a buck of approval from Shiala.

Shiala braced herself against the window as the commander's tongue found her clit. She could hear the relief in the commander's thoughts that their bodies were as similar as she had hoped. Unconsciously grinding her hips a second time, Shiala deepened the meld again, sharing physical sensations. She could taste the echo of her own arousal on the end of her tongue, could feel the soft flesh being bent to Shepard's will as if it were her own mouth doing the work.

Shepard faltered slightly when she felt the tingling between her legs of her own tongue, knowing that Shiala had sunk herself deeper into her mind. Determined not to be distracted by all the new sensations and thoughts running through her head, she doubled her efforts, lavishing the asari's bud with caress after caress of her tongue, switching between soft, broad strokes, and more stiff, precise twirls.

Shiala was panting hard and had a light-green knuckled grip on the window sill, when a thought came to mind. Sensing Shepard's need for stimulation, her human, primal instinct to be filled, she sent forward an image.

Shepard moaned in response and emanated a fresh wave of lust, as she released one of Shiala's hips, sliding the hand down into her own soaked underwear. Using two fingers, she slipped them into herself, her slickness allowing for the stretch quite easily. Thrusting in and out of herself with a progressing speed, she felt her own breath begin to come out in short, ragged, puffs.

Shiala felt the phantom grip wrap it's way over her middle and index fingers, as both the women began writhing at the dual sensations of having their walls filled, while having a tongue play with their bundle of nerves.

Shiala could feel the pressure building in her core, the human's talented ministrations bringing her closer to her first proper orgasm in decades. She grabbed two handfuls of red hair and dragged her fingernails across the sensitive skin of Shepard's scalp.

Shepard struggled to stave off the impending climax, trying to drag out the first sexual contact she'd had in three years. But the asari tasted so delicious, and her arousal through the meld was slowly drowning out Shepard's self control, as she used her own curved fingers to graze along her g-spot with every new plunge.

The sensations were becoming too much, and Shiala gripped the hair tightly, pulling Shepard in as close as possible. She ground her hips against the commander's face, feeling the echo of Shepard's thrusts becoming quicker and deeper.

Shepard sensed the urgency in the asari. She would've been able to tell she was close even without the aide of the meld, body language alone being a big indicator. Shepard slid a third finger inside herself, increasing the stretch for both of them. Then, she used her lips to form a light, sucking seal over the asari's nub, stroking it with quick, gentle flicks of her tongue.

Shiala could hold on no longer, having been teetering on the edge of ecstacy for too long now. She deepened the meld once again, reaching down to the deepest level. There was a momentary push back as Shepard's subconsciousness instinctively fought the intruder, but with an audible breath, Shepard relaxed herself, allowing the asari to settle into her like a warm bath. As Shiala slipped inside the commander's mind, she felt her physical banks break.

With a heated internal explosion, Shiala threw back her head and moaned loudly as the climax hit her. Wave after wave of pleasure pulsed from her central core, outwards, the warmth spreading through her entire body. She arched her back and her thighs trembled as she knees began to give out under her own weight. She was vaguely aware of Shepard's tongue stiffly attempting to continue its massage, her inner walls clamped down too tightly over her fingers to attempt movement as she battled her own crashing orgasm.

There was a lot of yelling, her own voice calling out to the Goddess, Shepard's voice calling out to someone named "Sweet Jesus," but she soon realised that the cries were being voiced internally through the meld, and the room was relatively quiet except for their combined panting and Shepard's low, wordless cries.

Shepard could barely keep her mouth moving, her throaty moans causing a vibrating sensation to go shooting across Shiala's skin. Shiala finally released her death grip on Shepard's hair, allowing the commander some air and space, as both their bodies began to calm. Shepard used her tongue to clean up the slick fluid that had been released by the asari during her climax, savouring every delicious drop.

She became aware of Shiala pulling back from the meld, inch by inch, the way she had gone in. First, she lost the ghostly sensation of her own tongue working its way into her engorged folds. Then, she lost the warm, embracing affection, groaning mournfully at its loss. Then, the whispers, the unfamiliar thoughts disappeared, and Shepard was alone again. She looked up, only to see Shiala looking down at her, her skin damp and flushed. Her mouth displayed a small, satisfied smile, and her eyes had returned to their natural colour, but they were empty, full of loss.

Shiala leaned back, feeling the whispers of Shepard's thoughts be replaced by the Thorian's echo once more. Shiala felt bereft of the connection, of the warm, husky voice filling her mind with strange words and wanton imagery. She missed the warm, encompassing affection.

"Shepard…" she started to say, although she didn't know how to finish that sentence.

Shepard stood unsteadily, taking the asari in her arms. "That was… I've never… Wow…"

"Thank you, Commander," Shiala murmured into the soldier's shoulder, "I cannot tell you how much I needed that."

"Likewise," Shepard whispered, kissing the asari's forehead.

"Uh, Commander?" Shepard's omni-tool sparked to life, a direct connection with the Normandy via the emergency channel.

"Yes Joker?" she asked irritably, breaking away only slightly from the asari's embrace.

"You know we were meant to leave like, 20 minutes ago, right?" he chirped glibly.

Shepard looked over Shiala's shoulder. The Ilium skyline, which had been bathed in both natural and artificial light when she arrived, was now completely dark. The wispy rays of light of the setting sun had disappeared, and the restaurants and shopping centres were all closed for the night. She shook her head in confusion, and checked the time on display on her omni-tool. She'd been with Shiala for over three hours.

"How is that… possible?" she asked, feeling the pain in her knees and the stiffness in her tongue.

"The bond often blurs time, Commander," Shiala answered sheepishly. "It is not uncommon for a couple to remain joined for days."

Shepard raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.

"Are you coming, Commander?" Joker asked impatiently. "Coz your XO is about to throw a total bitch-fit."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably before responding. "On my way, Joker," she said, closing her omni-tool and looking at Shiala sadly.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea we'd been so long. I've… I've gotta go."

Shiala nodded her head and swallowed hard. She understood, better than most, the sacrifices made in the name of duty.

"I'd like to see you again… But I don't really know when that'll be," Shepard said, shrugging away and crossing the room to find her clothes.

Shiala watched her mournfully. She hadn't even had the chance to get the commander out of her underwear.

"We will meet again if the universe wills it, Shepard," Shiala said, pushing away from the sweat slicked windowpane to gather her own belongings.

"Screw that," Shepard said, pulling her pants up quickly. "I've got your omni-address. When I can, I'll contact you."

"As you wish, Commander," Shiala said, not quite believing her.

Shepard pulled her tee-shirt on and crossed the space between them quickly, pushing a forceful, possessive kiss onto Shiala's mouth. Shiala melted into it, moulding herself into the commander's embrace. A small whimper escaped her mouth when Shepard finally pulled away.

"I mean it. I'll message you as soon as I'm done with my mission. I want to see you again."

Shiala looked into the commander's eyes, and saw the resounding truth resting in them. "Then I will await your return, Commander."

Running her hand along the asari's cheek, Shepard smiled and gave her one last kiss. "My name is Shepard."

Shiala perched on the end of the bed as the commander walked out of her hotel room. "I will miss you, Shepard."


	2. Reunited - Zhu's Hope

_**A/N: I've had a couple of requests for a follow up, but let's be real, I wanted to do it. Because apparently, I'm mentally incapable of a one-shot. I'm not even going to lie, there will probably be more, because procrastinating from my actual work is fun. **_

_**Adult Content Warning - Sex. Yep.**_

* * *

**3 Months Later...**

Shiala wiped the sweat off her forehead and stood up, straightening out her aching spine. She narrowed her eyes and looked back at her set of tools, grabbing the bigger sized wrench. She ducked back down and attempted to tighten the bolt again, bracing all her weight against it. She slipped and fell forward, hitting her head on the piping as she landed. Gritting her teeth, she got up, looking at the unmoved bolt ruefully. Vowing to stay behind and help the colony was one thing. Fixing the plumbing was something else entirely.

She picked the wrench up from where she had dropped it on the dusty ground and threw it back into the toolkit. She'd have to talk to Lizbeth about it. If her biotics were working, this would have been an easy fix, but as it was, Shiala was simply not suited for technical manual labour. She stared at the blocked pipe again, creasing her forehead with frustration.

"Need a hand?" a voice asked from behind her.

Her head cocked at the sound of the voice. She knew it well. Whenever she got lonely, or the Thorian's echo became too loud, she would force her mind to remember that voice. She turned slowly, not confident it wasn't her mind playing tricks on her.

Her eyes started at the ground, at the pair of black combat boots, standing half a foot apart in the 'at ease' military stance. Feeling a pit of excitement form in her belly, her gaze traveled up, to a pair of form fitting black cargo pants. Moving quickly over a sculpted set of hips, and a narrow waist, which were covered by a stretched blue tee-shirt, her heart fluttered when she came to the swell of a pair of breasts and a thin, elegant neck. She was vaguely aware of the tendrils of red hair and the curve of a smiling mouth, but her gaze desperately sought out the sad eyes she remembered so well.

"Hi," Shepard said, smiling shyly.

"You have returned to me?" Shiala asked, her body taking over as she crossed the space and threw her arms around the commander's neck, claiming her mouth with a demanding kiss.

Shepard laughed softly and kissed her back, relieved by the warm reception. She had been embarrassingly nervous walking through the colony, wondering if Shiala would want to see her, if she'd moved on, if it had been anything more than a one-night stand to her. When the asari parted her lips to deepen the kiss, Shepard instantly remembered how good it had felt to be with her. How… complete she had felt, hearing Shiala's rushed whispers in her mind. But she wasn't going to push this. The last thing she wanted to do was relegate a woman like Shiala to the status of a booty call.

When Shiala finally pulled away from Shepard, feeling breathless, she took a moment to look at the human she'd spent the last three months thinking about. There were fresh scars on the uncovered skin, a particularly dark one that cut across the bridge of the nose that looked suspiciously like it was from a butt of a rifle, and one just below her collarbone, clearly a gunshot wound.

"What happened to you?" Shiala asked, running a fingertip over the bridge of Shepard's nose. Shepard moved her head away from the contact, and Shiala let her hand drop back to the side.

"It's been a rough few months. We can talk about it later. Right now, I'm going to help you fix this pipe." Shepard stepped past the asari and leaned over, "hmm-ing" as she viewed the problem, before selecting a wrench from the toolkit.

Shiala stepped forward, attempting to take Shepard's hand. "I appreciate the thought, Commander, but I have been working on this for hours, and - "

"Got it," Shepard said, turning back with a small smile.

"What? How did you…?"

Shepard shrugged and threw the wrench back into the toolkit, picking it up by the handle and saddling its weight. "Gotta have a strong grip to control an assault rifle."

"I see," Shiala said, falling into step with Shepard as the human led the way through the once geth infested tunnels. "I am grateful for your assistance, Commander. Now the colony will have uninterrupted fresh water. You have helped us again."

Shepard turned to Shiala with a kind smile and used her thumb to rub a grease mark off her chin. "A good thing, too. You need a shower."

Shiala wiped her clammy brow and laughed uncomfortably. "I must look quite a sight."

"You look beautiful, as usual," Shepard said, setting a relaxed pace. This was her shore leave, probably the last she'd get in a very, very long time, considering her actions in the Bahak system. She refused to waste it marching anywhere. Here, on Feros, she could stroll.

"What brings you back to Zhu's Hope, Commander?" Shiala asked, secretly hoping that the answer was the one she was hoping for.

Shepard considered her answer carefully. They'd only slept together once. It had been a mind blowing, life-changing experience - for her, anyway - but the fact remained that it had been an isolated incident. If Shepard was feeling cool, she would probably keep her cards close to her chest, and say something flippant about being back to check on the colony's progress. If she was feeling dramatic, she'd say that she was here as a last shot at love before possibly facing the death penalty as a war criminal. But Shepard was feeling honest, and the honest answer was that she had scarcely thought of anything but Shiala since she'd left her hotel room on that fateful night, and if she could spend even one more minute in her company, the trip had been worthwhile.

"You," Shepard said simply, before shooting a quick look out of the side of her vision to see if the asari blushed or balked in response.

Shiala let out a sigh of relief and folded her hand inside Shepard's, interlacing their fingers, a shy smile gracing both their lips. Shepard pulled the linked hands up to her mouth and pressed a kiss across the back of Shiala's knuckles, marveling at the cool, slightly scaly texture.

"Would you mind showing me around?" Shepard asked, swinging their hands leisurely. "It's been years since I've been here, I'd love to see what you've achieved with the place. Then, I'd be honoured if you'd let me take you out for dinner. The type we actually go to, this time."

Shiala's cheeks coloured slightly at the memory. Her forward actions, Shepard's passionate response, the intense, toe curling experience that the meld had been.

"There are no restaurants on Zhu's Hope, Commander," she responded, her gaze drifting down from Shepard's eyes, to her lips, as she wondered if it would be too much to stop walking and kiss her again.

"That's okay," Shepard said with a smile, "Maybe you'd let me cook you dinner?"

"You can cook?" Shiala asked, quirking a brow.

"Not very well," Shepard admitted, "But I can try."

Shiala nodded and squeezed the commander's hand. "I would like that. How long are you staying?"

"Three days," Shepard answered, briefly letting go of Shiala's hand and pushing open the door to lead them into the heart of the colony. "Lizbeth and Julianna are letting me stay in their guest room."

Shiala stopped dead and snatched a thin wrist, pulling Shepard back into her body with a soft "oof" leaving the commander's mouth. "That will not do," Shiala said, reaching her hand up and running her fingers through the commander's hair, which had grown an inch in length since the last time she'd touched it, "I have my own unit on the edge of the colony. We would have privacy..."

Shepard smirked and leaned in, leaving a small kiss on Shiala's lips. "I never would've asked… but I'm glad you said it."

* * *

The hot water beat down on Shepard's skin, washing away the weariness from her shuttle ride to Feros. She smiled to herself as she thought of the asari sitting in the next room. Shiala was so gorgeous, so glamorous, and Shepard had absolutely no idea how she'd gotten lucky enough to be invited into her home.

Lizbeth and Juliana had given her such sly little smiles when she'd come back to collect her bag from their unit, thanking them for the offer but explaining politely that she had found somewhere else to stay. Shiala hadn't been even remotely shy. She'd taken Shepard's bag out of her hands and put it straight in the master bedroom, showing Shepard which side of the bed would be hers. Shepard didn't know Shiala well, but she trusted her, and after a decade of being constantly in control and command, it felt nice to have somebody take her bag and tell her what to do.

As Shepard showered, Shiala waited in the living room, paralysed by indecision. Commander Shepard had crossed the galaxy to see her. _Her_. There was no need to doubt that she was wanted. That she was… cared about. She had already bedded Shepard once. She had heard the commander's thoughts. Felt her feelings. And if she'd stubbornly insisted on harbouring doubts as to what the commander desired, then they should have been silenced by the small, satisfied smile that had crossed the human's lips when Shiala had claimed her intentions by taking the suitcase.

Shiala stood quickly and padded across the unit to the bathroom door. She was hit by the wave of steam as she slipped into the ensuite, letting the door close quietly behind her. She took silent footsteps towards the shower, watching the silhouette of Shepard under the hot jets of water, standing as stiff and motionless as a statue.

Shiala slipped out of her suit, letting the fabric pool on the floor, and crossed the last few steps completely undressed. She opened the door and was slightly taken aback by the sight of the commander naked. She had seen her bereft of clothing during their night on Ilium, but this was different somehow. She seemed so much smaller now that she was completely bare. Her body was tight, nothing but bones, small muscles and tautly stretched skin. There was a vulnerability to her body, the small frame that carried so many burdens.

Shepard looked over her shoulder and saw the asari enter with a an indescribable look in her eyes. She felt an instant wave of arousal at the sight of the woman, the green curves that had fueled so many of her solo sessions after their night together on Ilium. Shepard turned toward her without a word, reaching out her hands and gripping the voluptuous hips. She was ashamed to admit that she'd never actually had shower sex, her small amount of intimate encounters were usually clandestine affairs on military stations, rushed interactions in empty offices or behind requisition crates when nobody was looking. Three days with Shiala would be the most amount of freedom and privacy she'd ever had with a lover. She was excited for it, and not just the sex, which would be as rare or abundant as Shiala wanted it to be, but for the intimacy. She was looking forward to cooking for a woman. To sitting down for a meal, maybe lighting a candle. Sleeping in the same bed. Waking up in the spooning position. Going for a walk in the sun.

Shiala let her eyes travel, taking in all the details she'd missed on their first night together. Shepard was shades of white and pink, and Shiala instantly thought of the human saying about 'strawberries and cream'. She had small breasts, which were firm and perky. A slender stomach, a narrow waist, and two prominent hip bones. A small, short line of hair rested at the juncture of her thighs, and Shiala fought the urge to immediately drop to her knees and inspect it. They had three days for that…

She stepped closer, bringing her hands up to Shepard's face, tracing the lines of her jaw and then her lips, teasing Shepard's mouth open with her thumb and shuddering when the commander sucked it gently. She moved her hands down, following the natural curve of the neck and collarbones. She ran the pads of her fingers along the scars that patterned the commander's body. She had so many scars, the flesh had become a tapestry of war. Some scars were fresh, from recent battles, and some were disturbingly old, telling the story of a brutal life.

Shiala dropped her hands again, taking the breasts and cupping them, kneading them with curiousity. She smiled as Shepard moved into the contact, a small sigh escaping the human's lips as they parted in pleasure. Shepard had to restrain herself. She so badly wanted to push the asari against the tiled wall and pry her thighs apart, feel the slickness of her sex, drop to her knees and taste her once again, hear her moan over and over… But she was a guest, and she would take this at Shiala's pace. They had three whole days…

"Turn around," Shiala whispered, using her hands to coax the commander's body, turning her towards the wall.

Shepard did as she was bid, bracing herself with her hands against the tiles as the water stung some of the fresher wounds from her ordeal at the Project Rho base. She felt a pair of soapy hands land on her back, sliding over the scarred skin and tight muscles. She moaned softly, enjoying the firm pressure the asari was delivering. This was something else she'd rarely experienced; a massage from a beautiful woman. Shiala watched with fascination as the muscles gave way under her palms, before springing back as she moved her hands around. She felt the hidden bumps of the spinal column, and the sharp blades of the shoulder. She let her hands go lower, traveling over the raised ridges of bone at the back of Shepard's pelvis. The similarities between the human and asari physiques were far more than skin deep, she realised.

Slipping her hands around the front of Shepard's body, her fingers found the breasts again, playing with the nipples until they puckered and became stiffened peaks in response to the stimulation. Bringing her lips to the back of Shepard's neck and kissing her way down to the curve of the shoulder, she moved her hands further down Shepard's body, letting them come to a rest at the point between her thighs. Shepard inhaled sharply and moved instinctively, bringing the swell of her backside into the cradle of Shiala's hips. She felt the heat rise as supple breasts pressed against her shoulders and a finger played absentmindedly with her landing strip.

Feeling Shepard's body respond and her breathing increase exponentially, Shiala took mercy on her, dropping her hand an inch further and finding the aching womanhood that was begging for attention. Using the tip of one finger, she ran the length of the crevice, before pushing past the sleek skin and feeling the slippery, velvety flesh beyond. Shepard turned slightly and whispered something that Shiala couldn't hear past the running water that was streaming past her auditory canal, but it sounded like "I missed you."

Gently exploring the new terrain, she found the source of the slickness and got rewarded with a loud moan from Shepard. Moving further up, her finger came to a soft ridge, and the way Shepard jolted at the contact told her that this was the area to focus on. The bud was a different shape and texture to the asari equivalent, but it was in the same position, and better yet, it seemed to serve the same purpose. She tested it out with various amounts of pressure, and different strokes, reveling in the variety of responses she got from the commander, ranging from throaty moans to high pitched cries.

When she found the rhythm that seemed to get the best results, she continued with it, stroking and sliding with the experienced touch of a woman who had spent a lot of time pleasing herself. She brought her spare hand back to Shepard's breast, moulding and tweaking it, and her mouth found its way to Shepard's neck, kissing and nibbling at the soft skin. Feeling the way Shepard writhed beneath her fingertips as the water rained down on them both sent a longing between her own legs, and her urge to meld grew with every new gasp and cry she managed to elicit from the human.

Feeling Shiala's breaths quicken on her neck, becoming warm and desperate as her skilled fingers gave Shepard just the amount of friction she'd been craving, Shepard took a steadying breath and fought off the impending orgasm. She closed her eyes and tried not to get lost in the sensations as she mentally prepared herself for a meld, just the way Samara had taught her.

As Shepard began grinding her hips, causing an unbearable throb between Shiala's legs, the asari could no longer hold out. "Commander… can I… can we…"

Shepard nodded and turned her face. "Yes, Shiala. I want to."

Shiala met Shepard's lips in a passionate kiss as her mind wandered. She leashed it tightly, only allowing it to move at the slowest possible pace, paranoid about causing pain like she did the first time. She felt the dual sensations of herself move inside Shepard's space, as her tongue moved past Shepard's lips and her mind moved past the first layer of Shepard's consciousness. Her tongue was welcomed, massaged expertly by its counter, but her mind had entered an unfamiliar landscape. Shepard had barriers up, strong ones, closing off access to all but the most shallow and fleeting thoughts. Submersing herself the next layer down, Shiala felt the resistance deepen, squeezing her out like a vice, almost to the point of discomfort.

She felt a slight wave of jealousy and possessiveness rise within her; Shepard had clearly been with another asari to have learned this trick. It wasn't forbidden, but within asari culture, it was heavily frowned upon to meld with a mate who had already been claimed by another asari. It was considered polite to wait until after a relationship had been ended, a bond broken, before another asari could slide in and mark the mate. It was an ancient rule born from an archaic evolutionary process, and Shiala felt ridiculous for clinging onto it. Shepard obviously did not consider herself taken, and most young maidens had no respect for such old customs.

Shiala's thumb accidentally brushed against the coarse strip of hair leading to Shepard's sex, and an errant memory of Shepard in the shower, with one leg braced against a wall and a razor in her hand, made Shiala smile and falter slightly.

_"You cut your hair?"_ she asked through the meld.

Shepard startled, both physically and mentally, and quickly broke the kiss. Shiala realised she hadn't spoken directly through the link the only other time they'd been intimate, and the first time for a non-asari could be confronting. Shepard became confused for a moment, and Shiala reflected the image back to her, feeling her body calm once she'd seen it. A small, breathy laugh escaped the commander's lips, before being replaced quickly by a groan as Shiala tweaked her nipple. Then the barriers went up again, and Shiala resisted the urge to press further, instead staying on the periphery of Shepard's mind.

Hearing the disappointment and confusion in Shiala's thoughts, Shepard instantly felt guilty. The barriers were working, just the way Samara had taught her during their lessons, stopping Shiala from accessing the painful memories. If Shepard wasn't fast approaching a screaming crescendo, she would stop and explain why she was holding back. But as it was, Shiala's quick finger strokes over Shepard's engorged pleasure centre were quickly depriving her of the ability to speak any words other than "Oh God," and "Fuck yes."

Shepard closed her eyes and bucked into Shiala, the asari's ministrations finally bringing her to her peak. Clenching down with her thighs, she let a long, throaty moan escape her lips. She lost her grip on the wall and her knees buckled as the climax loomed large. Shiala released her grip on Shepard's breast and wrapped the arm under her ribs, carrying the weight of the commander as her legs gave out beneath her.

Keeping her fingers moving in rhythm, Shiala felt her digits become covered by a warm fluid, as Shepard moaned indecipherably and arched against her. Shiala was overcome by the power of Shepard's absolute surrender, as the commander leaned back and shuddered in her arms. Then, the mental barriers were dropped by accident, and Shiala saw it all.

The images swamped her mind of a dark, gritty battlefield. A young, dark skinned human man lost his life to a rocket launcher; a young, pretty red-head got reduced to a puddle inside a glass tank; a tall, serious drell was dragged away by a swarm of insects. And then, she saw what Shepard had been through in the Bahak system. She heard the reaper's voice, felt every bullet and abuse inflicted by the indoctrinated humans, and then finally, she heard the 350,000 voices scream out in unison, silencing all at once as the mass effect relay went supernova.

The urge to sever the meld was almost overwhelming as Shepard slumped against her, filling Shiala with every horrible moment of the last three months. But Shiala didn't sever it, instead she deepened it, feeling every emotion from failure and despair, to a deep, gut wrenching grief. She let the commander pour it all out, sharing the burden between their two souls until there was no more pain to drag up from the human's internal well. Steadying herself, Shiala reflected back her own feelings to share with Shepard; comfort, support, admiration, care, trying to shine as much light into the black hole as possible.

Shiala settled down on her knees, cradling Shepard as she rested against the asari's strong body. The commander had broken into small, weak sobs, and Shiala ran a hand through her wet hair.

_"I'm so sorry,"_ Shepard said through the meld, _"I was trying not to show you that."_

_"Do not apologise to me, Shepard," _Shiala spoke back, _"You need not carry this around on your own. It is my honour to help you shoulder it."_

_"Thank you," _Shepard responded, a swell of affection replacing the raging guilt, _"Nobody's ever been there for me like this before."_

_"You are not alone, Commander," _Shiala reassured her, pressing a kiss onto the crown of her head, _"I am right here."_

* * *

Shepard stared across the table at Shiala. It was one of the first times they'd both been clothed since Shepard's arrival three days earlier. Shiala took a bite of her pancake, and Shepard giggled.

"What is so amusing, Shepard?" Shiala asked, cocking her head and shooting a curious look across the table.

"I can still feel you," Shepard said with a smile, tapping two fingers to her temple, "In here. I'm glad you weren't lying about liking the pancakes."

Shiala flushed slightly. She hadn't even realised they were still linked. She was so used to having someone else's whispers in the back of her mind; first Sovereign's, then the Thorian's, and now even the link she seemed to share with the colonists when they were in close proximity. Hearing the commander's voice had been a relief, like slipping into a comfortable pair of shoes. The meld was light, she'd pulled back after they'd made love earlier that morning, but she hadn't pulled away altogether. She wasn't ready to.

Shepard hadn't verbally told her where she was going when she left today. She didn't need to. Shiala had read almost every inch of her lover over the last few days, the commander granting her the privilege of complete access. Her shuttle would take off in two hours, and she would let her crew disembark, before taking the Normandy and facing Earth's 'justice', if that was what they could call it. Shiala wasn't a fool, and she wasn't a child. She knew that Shepard would likely pay for her unavoidable actions with her life, and the thought filled her with such bitterness she could scarcely breathe.

_"Come away with me," _she said, her lips not moving as she stared across the table.

Shepard swallowed deeply and her eyes became sad. "I can't do that," she said out loud, dropping her gaze as she fiddled with her fork, "I have to go back. I have to accept whatever the sentence is. I can't have the batarians attacking my people. Not over me."

Sighing deeply, Shiala nodded. "I know. I am sorry, it was a selfish request."

_"No, I was selfish,"_ Shepard said through the meld, sending a picture of her leaning over the galaxy map of her ship, biting her nails nervously and staring at Feros amidst the stars with a look of pure indecision carved onto her face. _"I shouldn't have come. I just... I wanted to know, if you and I... if it was real."_

Shiala stood and crossed the room quickly, sliding into Shepard's space and straddling her lap. Their mouths found each other, instantly locking in a deep, abiding kiss.

_"It is real," _Shiala sent through, threading her fingers through Shepard's hair and pulling her impossibly close, _"So try to come back to me. I will be waiting."_


	3. Respite - The Normandy

_**A/N: I don't know why, but I feel honour bound to warn you about the sex, so...**_

_**Adult Content Warning**__** - **__**Yep, you heard me...**_

* * *

**9 Months Later...**

The decision to leave Zhu's Hope had not been made lightly. It had grieved Shiala deeply to give up the fight after so long, but her decades as a high ranking commando had taught her how to recognise when the odds were simply overwhelming. And so it had been, with a heavy heart, she had made the call to evacuate the colony. Feros, and most of the Theseus System, were lost to the Reapers, but Earth and Ilium could still be saved. Begrudgingly, the colonists had collected their small amounts of belongings, had said their sad farewells, and had gone their separate ways, prepared to jump into the fray in whatever way they could.

Shiala missed the humans from the colony, the intimate bond they'd shared through the traumatic experience that the Thorian had put them through, but saying goodbye was the very nature of being an asari. Living a 1,000 year life meant that she had farewelled many loved ones, and would continue to do so until the day she finished her Matriarch stage. The pain was with her, but it never overcame her, she just absorbed it and allowed it to become a part of who she was, strengthening her in its own small way.

She leaned against the railing of the Presdium, overlooking the gardens. It had been years since she'd visited the Citadel, and after only one week of being there, waiting for her very special escort to Ilium, Shiala already felt… different. She wasn't sure if it was real or just wishful thinking, but her biotics felt stronger, more stable. She'd even felt brave enough to lift a chair in her hotel room that morning, moving it around the room in a slow, controlled circle, before bringing it back to rest in the spot where it had started. The shared thoughts of the colonists were out of her mind, her skin seemed to have changed in colour, however minutely, and the Thorian's voice had never been quieter; a mere breath on the edge of her brain.

The Citadel felt strange. Shiala had visited it hundreds of times in her long life, having stayed for long visits when her commando squad had a high stakes political escort job, or an extended shore leave pass. It had seen its share of firefights over the centuries, and just over two years ago it had experienced its first full-scale invasion, but nothing had tarnished it quite as much as the recent coup attempt. The bullet holes and broken glass were still on display, a constant reminder that the war was real, that it was coming to every corner of life, and that not even the Galaxy's elite could step up and save them. According to all reports, they had been so close to being bested, so close to the entire centre of galactic diplomacy resting in the hands of a human supremacy group. So close... if it wasn't for Shepard. _Her Shepard_.

She was dragged from her thoughts when the crowd suddenly parted, the predominantly asari, human and turian mob of civilians milling around and gossiping excitedly amongst themselves, as a single figure made her way through the path that had been cleared. The relief that rose in Shiala's chest when she saw the woman with her own eyes, _alive and free_, was indescribable.

"Commander Shepard!" Shiala called out as the spectre marched determinedly towards her, completely unaware of the effect she was having on the bystanders, her gaze fixed squarely on Shiala.

The commander looked different, completely formidable in her Alliance uniform, all straight lines and edges, a tense expression on her face. Her shoulders looked broader in her navy blue blazer, her eyes had a haunted look in them, and her hair had grown again, pinned back in a tight bun, giving her a more severe appearance.

Shepard's face broke into a smile when she got closer, beaming at the green asari that was rapidly crossing the distance between them. This time, Shepard didn't let herself get intimidated by the prospect of being rejected. It was the end of the galaxy, as far as she could see. What better time to put yourself out there?

Both women met in the middle and wrapped each other in a tight embrace, with Shiala lifting the commander slightly off the ground and spinning her once. Laughing softly, Shepard breathed in Shiala's scent; that dainty, fruity scent that she loved so much, as the asari put her back down on her feet.

"Thank you for waiting for me," Shepard said, taking Shiala's hands in hers and squeezing them, "I'm sorry it took us so long to get here."

Shiala met her gaze and smiled. "I have enjoyed the diversion. Even in this state the Citadel is... a marvel. Thank you for offering to transport me. I am honoured to be invited aboard your famous ship."

Shepard leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, ignoring the glances and hushed chattering of the nearby observers. "You're very welcome. We needed to head out to the Terminus anyway, and all reports indicate that Ilium is holding out well. You'll be safe there."

"Safe… yes," Shiala said thoughtfully, swallowing deeply at the memory of the way Feros had become so quickly and easily overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry about Zhu's Hope. You made the right call," Shepard said, releasing a hand and rubbing Shiala's upper arm tenderly.

"Thank you, Shepard," Shiala said sincerely, comforted by the words and touch.

Shepard guided Shiala's hand through the crook of her arm, an old human gesture of 'gallantry', if the extranet was to be believed. Leading her favourite asari through the Presidium ward and to the elevator that would take them to the Normandy's docking bay, Shepard couldn't seem to wipe the smile off her face.

* * *

"It is beautiful," Shiala finally said, mesmerised by the tropical fish swimming back and forth in their wall length tank in the commander's cabin.

Pouring two glasses of wine and putting them down on the coffee table, Shepard settled down on the couch and folded one leg over the other. She watched Shiala from across the room, appreciating the supple curve of her hips, the slim line of her waist, her flat stomach, her prominent breasts. Shepard had grown to love the silhouette of the asari crest. Every time she saw one, it had an unbidden effect on her, and she instantly thought about how Shiala quivered during the far-too-rare opportunities that Shepard had had to stroke it. It sometimes made being around Liara a bit difficult, but now that she was back in Shiala's presence, she enjoyed the view unashamedly.

"I've been very lucky to have been given command of the Normandy," Shepard answered, allowing the pride to ring clearly in her voice, "It's been a privilege to captain such a cutting edge vessel, with one of the best multilateral crews ever assembled."

Shiala turned to her and smiled. Shepard seemed so relaxed on her ship, and her crew obviously adored her. Shiala had nodded and made polite comments during her tour of the vessel, but she'd really been watching Shepard the whole time. The way she transformed under the command. The way those thin, frail shoulders suddenly became capable of holding the responsibility for every single soul on the vessel. It was a magnificent sight to behold.

Shepard had been proud to guide Shiala around her ship, proud to have her squad and crew know that the stunning asari was _her_ guest. She had stumbled, however, when it came to how to introduce Shiala around. Was Shiala just a friend that she sometimes slept with? Her long-distance girlfriend? Her... bondmate? It was an unusual situation, and she knew far too little about asari customs to even take a guess at how Shiala viewed their fleeting encounters. If Shepard was somebody else, if her life didn't revolve around flying in circles across the galaxy and getting frequently shot at, this relationship could be something great. In fact, it almost certainly would be, if she had any kind of say in it. But she was who she was, and the best she could offer anyone at the moment was this; small snippets of time and intimacy.

Shiala crossed the room and took a seat beside Shepard, letting their legs rest against each other in a sign of comfort. She reached for the glass of wine that Shepard had poured for her, and smiled as the bouquet hit her nose. Thessian wine. A good vintage. Rare and expensive. She wasn't sure of the lengths in which Shepard must have gone to to procure this for her, and she felt a swell of affection rise within herself. Shepard returned the smile and reached across with her own glass, hitting it gently against Shiala's with a quiet "clink-ing" sound.

"To being reunited," Shepard said shyly, her cheeks colouring slightly as she noticed the confused look on Shiala's face.

She would explain the concept of "cheers" later, but for now, she wanted to talk about other things. About _everything_. Time was of the essence, and Shiala couldn't stay on-board the Normandy forever. She had important things to do on Ilium - family to find, defenses to plan. The entire future of the planet could be changed by having this very powerful, very experienced commando fighting on their side, and Shepard felt selfish for even being tempted to bogart her.

Shepard had never met a woman like Shiala. She'd never felt such a bond with anyone. It felt supernatural, and way too good to be true. Things like this didn't happen to her. Women like this didn't fall for her. _Falling_... it had been on her mind almost constantly since she'd left Feros nine months earlier. She could fall in love with Shiala. Easily. She half suspected she already had, and was annoyed at herself for the stupidity of it. They had spent less than 100 hours together in total, over the course of a year. That was it. Granted, most of it had been engaged in some sort of intimate bond, but still, it wasn't possible… was it?

They talked for over an hour. Shepard shared the small wins, the highlights of the war, carefully skirting around the devastating losses, the millions of lives that had been snuffed out in mere hours. Shiala didn't need to know the horror that Shepard had witnessed. Shepard would be careful to cover those parts of her mind when they were intimate. _If_ they were intimate. It wasn't that Shepard considered Shiala a sure bet, she was just happy to be in her company again after so long apart. Still, given their history, it wasn't completely off the cards, and she would definitely take more care not to burden the asari with her emotions this time. That had been... bad.

Finishing her second glass of wine and placing the goblet down on the white coffee table, Shiala ran a hand up Shepard's thigh, feeling the sleek material of the commander's navy blue uniform. Shepard put her own half full glass on the table next to Shiala's and rested her hand on top of the asari's, stroking her knuckles with calloused fingertips. Shiala reached over, cupping Shepard's jawline with her hand and pulling her closer, letting their lips collide in a heated kiss. Shiala wasn't sure what it was about Commander Shepard, but she found herself unable to control herself around the woman, even the smallest kisses and touches had a way of kicking her libido into overdrive.

Quickly unsatisfied by the gentle kiss, Shiala pulled Shepard over, bringing her to rest on the asari's lap in a straddling position. Unpinning the hair and dragging her fingers through it, Shiala brought Shepard in close, pressing their warm bodies together. Shepard sighed with relief at the sensation, and brought her hands up to Shiala's crest, running her fingertips along the ridges and tweaking the tips. Shiala shuddered in response, feeling her desire to undress, meld and have sex - in that exact order - amplify at every fresh touch of Shepard's nimble hands.

Releasing the handfuls of thick red hair, Shiala brought her fingers down to Shepard's shirt, impatiently unbuttoning the thin fabric and exposing the breasts beneath. Shepard was wearing a lacy black bra, and Shiala pulled away from the kiss to admire it, running the pads of her fingers over it before cupping both of the breasts hiding beneath the material.

Shepard trailed her way down Shiala's throat, the asari throwing her head back and allowing the commander's lips and tongue better access to the sensitive skin. Shepard worked her way across the rise of Shiala's collarbones, synchronising her mouth with the work her fingers were doing at the back of Shiala's crest, bringing the asari a dull, pulsating desire that started in her abdomen and then slowly travelled south.

"Too many clothes," Shiala murmured, pulling Shepard's shirt off her arms and dumping it on the floor, running her hands over the exposed arms and torso.

Shepard groaned in agreement, taking the zip of Shiala's bodysuit in her fingers and dragging it down to its starting point, just below the asari's belly button. Looking at the unbearable beauty resting beneath her, Shepard felt the anticipation rise within her. She needed to worship every inch of Shiala. She needed to feel her presence inside her head. She needed... _her._

Their breaths came out in hot gasps as they began touching the plains of available flesh, the awkward positioning of their bodies not allowing for as much exposure as either would have liked. Releasing a breast and reaching out to stroke Shepard's cheek with her hand, Shiala asked the wordless question with the look on her face. Shepard nodded her permission, and Shiala let her mind move forward, her body too intent on gratification to control the strength and speed. Shepard accepted her easily this time, her mind more prepared for the intensity of the meld after all the practice she had gotten over their time together in Zhu's Hope. The meld was relatively deep almost instantly, their thoughts, emotions and sensations being shared as if they were mutual property.

Shiala had been living amongst humans for almost three years now, and although she had kept to herself as often as appropriate, she was familiar with a lot of their culture. However, one of Shepard's passing thoughts made her pause and her cock her head.

"What is an apple pie?"

Shepard laughed in response, part embarrassed at the slip. "It's a dessert. I haven't had one for years, but from memory, they taste a lot like your skin. Especially your mouth and your..."

"Oh!" Shiala gasped in surprise as Shepard shared the sensory memory of her intimate body parts with her, "I see."

"I'll bake you one someday," Shepard said confidently, although Shiala could feel the underlying doubt beneath those words.

They were losing. They were losing the war. Shiala could see it, hear it, feel it. She had known it herself, the first time she had seen the Reapers descend upon Feros, but to actually access the confirmation within the commander's mind filled her with desperation. She needed to feel alive.

"_Bed_," Shiala said through the meld, sending through the image of what she wanted their bodies to do, posing it as a question. It was an act she knew was possible between two asari, she had experienced it many times, but she still harboured some uncertainty as to the capabilities of the human physique.

Shepard sent back her own image as a confirmation, the position somewhat altered but the act remaining the same, and Shiala's onyx eyes widened as her desire multiplied tenfold. Shepard climbed off her lap, and they both undressed frantically, Shiala liberating herself of her clothing quickly, before turning her attentions to Shepard and yanking her pants down when she went too slow. Shuffling to the bed with heavy kisses and fondling, Shiala pushed Shepard backwards and fell with her, revelling in the delicious skin on skin contact.

Crawling up the bed, Shiala straddled Shepard with thick, powerful thighs. Bringing Shepard's hands above her head and linking their fingers, she pressed another possessive kiss upon the human's mouth, feeling the rise of desire within the commander, the way she craved to give up this tiny bit of control. Shepard moaned as the asari's tongue rediscovered her mouth. She could feel Shiala's want, feel the echo of the kiss and the pressure of their bodies moulded against each other.

"_Shiala_," Shepard almost plead into the meld, "_Please_…"

Breaking the kiss and releasing Shepard's hands, Shiala gripped both the human's thighs and pulled them apart, re-positioning their bodies in the way Shepard had shown her in the image, one leg over the other. Shiala took the top position, guiding their body cores together, and they both jolted in ecstasy as bright pink flesh met dark teal. Shiala couldn't tell which one of them was more slippery with arousal, and they glided against each other seamlessly with a few gentle sways of Shiala's pelvis. Feeling the unbridled pleasure from her partner, and the blazing of her own nerves as they were set on fire by the contact, Shiala set the pace by rocking her hips back and forth, responding to the human's needs by listening to her cues through the meld.

Shepard gripped the pillow behind her with one hand, biting her bottom lip with lust as her free hand cupped Shiala's breast, getting a loud mewl of satisfaction from her counterpart. Feeling the phantom touch on her own breast, she kneaded firmly, dragging her thumb over the nipple and feeling it stiffen under her touch, her own nipple following suit.

The visual of Shiala's graceful movements was almost too much for Shepard to bare, and the entire sex act was quickly becoming a test in how to avoid an embarrassingly fast orgasm. Shiala's face was inclined slightly, her eyes were closed, her lips were parted in pleasure. The light from the fish tank cast the silhouette of the crest in such a way that Shepard was sure she would never again be able to look at another asari without blushing. The soft neck clenched with every breath, the breasts bounced up and down with every movement, and the flat, perfect abdomen rolled rhythmically with every buck of those full, green hips.

"_You are too beautiful,_" Shepard said without words, clenching her jaw as Shiala brought her a particularly intense wave of pleasure with a deliberately slow stroke.

"_As are you_," Shiala answered, opening her eyes and looking down at the human, running her hand along Shepard's neck and resting it on her collarbone.

Sensing the commander's close proximity to release, Shiala gripped Shepard's backside with one hand, raising her pelvis off the bed slightly and making the contact between their bodies almost unbearably close. She sped up her movements, feeling the heat build between them as the slick friction gave them both the exact satisfaction they needed.

Shiala had never had a lover whose body was so responsive to hers, so quick to deliver and receive pleasure, so perfectly suited to her own form in each and every way. Not even the other asaris she'd been with had had this effect on her. If things were different... If the war was over... this human would be her bondmate. She knew it. Shepard knew it. But for the moment, they would both have to make do with this.

Sensing the end in sight, Shiala sunk herself as deep into the meld as she dared, coming dangerously close to a reproduction bond, but controlling herself before she went too far. She could no longer discern whose pleasure was whose, whose body was doing what, and who exactly all these emotions were originating from.

They could both feel the intensity rising within each other as the orgasm began to form inside them. The physical and emotional pleasures were swirling around each other, bound together, and destined to come spilling out in one pivotal moment. It was an emotion that was universal, it could be traced to neither the human nor the asari that made up the two halves of this rapturous whole. The all consuming fire, the exquisite madness, the raw, possessive, tangible passion filling them both up, reflecting back and forth between them a hundred times until neither of them could stand it anymore.

"_Shiala… I think I…_"

"_I know, Shepard. I love you too_."

At the sound of the words, they both went crashing over the threshold together, grinding wildly against each other with raw, untamed need. Shepard brought both hands to Shiala's hips and dug in her nails until they left crescent shaped dents in the skin, as she tried desperately to keep herself anchored to some form of reality, to not lose herself entirely in the eternal pleasure of the asari joining. The cry that pierced the softly lit, blue-hued cabin was animalistic, the sound of a woman who had received the greatest pleasure in the galaxy, everything she had ever wanted or needed.

Shiala was drowning in the ecstasy, her movements losing their grace almost immediately and becoming jerky spasms as their shared orgasm nearly made her black out. Slowly rocking until the physical release was no more, the asari stiffly untangled their legs and collapsed down on top of Shepard, her auditory canal finding the heartbeat drumming within the human's chest.

Shepard stroked Shiala's crest, running her rough fingertips along every bump and dip, committing them to memory, tickling every tip until Shiala almost wanted to make love again. _Almost_. She could sense the commander's exhaustion, the deep meld had taken hours, like it always did, and she knew her own stomach muscles and thighs would be uncomfortably sore from their workout when she woke in the morning.

"_Nobody's ever loved me before_," Shepard sent the thought, a small wave of embarrassment emanating from her at the admission.

"_Nobody has ever seen your soul before_," Shiala sent back, reaching her hand up and cradling Shepard's face.

Shepard pressed a kiss onto Shiala's forehead, and the asari rolled off her, taking a place beside her on the bed and entwining their bodies in the favourite sleeping position they'd discovered on their long weekend together on Feros. She could sense Shepard's poorly masked dread, and she felt her own. Ilium was only a two day cruise from the Citadel, and they were already eight hours into the trip. This would likely be the last time they would get to see each other. Nobody could cheat death as many times as Commander Shepard had. There would be a price to pay eventually. There always was. And it pained Shiala to think of Shepard facing it alone.

"I can stay with you," Shiala said softly, feeling the commander's rush of emotions at the prospect, "I can fight with you. Until the end, if that is what is required."

Shepard paused for a moment, almost overcome by the desire to say yes. To wave off whatever responsibilities Shiala had to her own people. To just... be with her, for as long as she could. But her clinical mind won the battle, like it always did whenever her own happiness was on the line.

"I would love that, but you belong on Ilium. Go and find your sisters and nieces. Protect them. Help them prepare. When this is over…" she stopped dead and bit her lip. There was no use in making promises. The end of the war would come, and Shepard could not balk, no matter what was asked of her.

"I want to be with you, too," Shiala said, stroking Shepard's cheek with the back of her hand, "We will find somewhere peaceful. You will never have to see another war, Shepard."

Shepard smiled softly and closed her eyes. "No war," she murmured, nuzzling her face in closer to the nook of Shiala's shoulder, "I don't even remember what that feels like."

Shiala began to pull away from the meld, but Shepard clung to her, both physically and mentally. "Stay with me," she begged, "Please, stay in there. The nightmares won't come if you're with me."

Shiala did as she was asked and, for the first time in her life, she slept the entire night while still joined to another consciousness. When the images came - the whispering shadows and the burning child - Shiala took Shepard somewhere else; to watch the sunrise on Thessia, to overlook the mountains of Palaven, to look up at the skyscrapers of Sur'Kesh that were so tall they touched the clouds.

It was the best that either of them had slept for years.

* * *

Stepping into the airlock as the Normandy docked at Nos Astras, Shepard snatched Shiala's forearm and pulled her in close. It felt like this was always the way it was going to be for them. Some variation of the word "goodbye."

"I love you," Shepard whispered, her voice slightly husky with emotion, "Stay safe. Please."

"Go and win this war for us, Shepard," Shiala said, holding the human tightly, never wanting to let her go, "When this is done…"

"We'll find each other," Shepard finished, leaning in and kissing her like her life depended on it.

The words were hollow and neither of the women believed them, but the idea of saying goodbye forever was too much to bare. And so they stood there, wrapped in a lie, willing the universe to just smile on them and give them one last chance.


End file.
